I Love You Forever

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I drove to work this morning and “I Love You Forever” by Jewel came up on random shuffle. I burst into tears. The drive to work is hard right now. It is quiet.There is time for reflection.  Mr Loco and I commuted to work together as often as possible. The exit to drop him off is on the way to work for me. This song just hit me hard. It is one that I left out of the playlist post because I was going to keep it for myself. Here I am posting it.

I just returned from picking up Mr Loco’s ashes and played this song on repeat as I drove home with Baby Loco snoozing, Mr Loco’s ashes riding shotgun and me…..I was crying the whole way. I got home and thought about the first time we met up after confessing our feelings for each other. So I am going to fast forward our love story to that happy moment. Our story is full of so many happy moments. Here are the lyrics to the song followed by a little of our story.

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I Love You Forever by Jewel

You and I walking slowly
Hand in hand
Footprints in the sand
Watch the wind as it plays
Throwing shadows across your face
The sky was so blue
Your eyes so green
The air glittering
So sudden, so swift
Love came to us
Just like a gift
I lived here, you lived far away
Our lives called us back, no we could not stay
With a sad sort of smile you took my hand
Said while we’re apart you hope I understand that…
[Chorus:]
You’ll be holding me
And I’ll be holding you
Through those long nights
My love will be pulling you through
When you see the stars
Pretend they’re my arms
When you feel the air
That is me kissing you there  IMG_3646
Say you love me
And I will say I love you
No distance could ever make that untrue
When I’m far away
I’ll reach through time and space
When you hear the wind
You’ll hear me saying
I love you foreverFast forward our love story
I still remember that day
Her small precious face
You stared into her eyes
Hypnotized by her smile
But your job meant you had to travel
But we weren’t ready for you to go
You held our daughter with a sad sort of smile
Said while we’re apart I want you to know that…You’ll be holding me
And I’ll be holding you
Through those long nights
My love will be pulling you through
When you see the stars
Pretend they’re my arms
When you feel the air
That is me kissing you there
Say you love me
And I will say I love you
No distance could ever make that untrue
When I’m far away
I’ll reach through time and space
When you hear the wind
You’ll hear me saying
I love you forever
God forbid there’ll come a day
When the light in my eyes fades away
But from your hearts I will not go
No bounds shall my spirit know, cause
You’ll be holding me
And I’ll be holding you
Through those long nights
My love will be pulling you through
When you see the stars
Pretend they’re my arms
When you feel the air
That is me kissing you there
Say you love me
And I will say I love you
No distance could ever make that untrue
When I’m far away
I’ll reach through time and space
When you hear the wind
You’ll hear me saying
I love you forever
You’ll be holding me
And I’ll be holding you
Through those long nights
My love will be pulling you through
When you see the stars
Pretend they’re my arms
When you feel the air
That is me kissing you there
Say you love me
And I will say I love you
No distance could ever make that untrue
When I’m far away
I’ll reach through time and space
When you hear the wind
You’ll hear me saying
I love you forever
Chicago
Mr Loco bought a plane ticket and was flying into Chicago. I took the train to Chicago to meet him. I was giddy, excited, and happy to finally see Mr Loco in person rather than via Skype or Facetime. I sat patiently on the train texting a few friends along the way. My mom was watching me travel using the Glympse app. All of these things were to keep me distracted for a few hours until I could hold Mr Loco in my arms. My good friend sent a text asking me how I was going to kiss Mr Loco for the first time. I totally lost my cool. How was I going to kiss him? What? I had not thought this through! Do people think these things through? Well, obviously people do because she was asking. What were my choices? I needed a Cosmo article to tell me what kinds of kisses there were and what they meant. What were my choices? A? B? C? D? I may have freaked out a little…..I DIDN”T KNOW HOW I WAS GOING TO KISS HIM……..UGH!!!! It took everything I had to settle on an outfit for the day. Now I had to think about kissing….I was so NOT PREPARED!!!!!! I spent the remainder of the train ride refraining from googling first kiss options. I twirled my hair. I tapped my foot. I looked at pictures of Mr Loco. I chatted with my mom about the current speed of the train.
I somehow let that panic go as I focused on how I was going to get from the train station to the airport in time. I was going to be cutting it close but I REALLY wanted to be there when Mr Loco walked off the plane. I had one of those movie moments getting into the taxi cab. I told the cabbie that there was a healthy tip for him if he could get me to the airport in time to see my BOYFRIEND walk off the plane. OFF HE WENT. He zigzagged through traffic while I chatted with a friend in North Carolina. She went to high school with us. She was cheering me on and attempting to calm me down.
I jumped out of the cab with time. I navigated my way quickly through the airport and positioned myself at the bottom of the escalator Mr Loco would have to come down from the secured portion of the airport. I was nervous. I was going to see him in moments…..MOMENTS. My life was going to change for the better. I still didn’t know about this whole kiss thing…..what were my options again? Which way was I going to tilt my head? A hello peck? A “I have loved you forever” kiss? OY! There were 18 years of build up to this moment. I paced around waiting and finally a text came through. “Come pick me up. I’ve landed.” My heart started beating really hard. I was smiling. I am sure I looked slightly crazy as I paced about gazing at that text with a giant grin and little hearts for eyes. Those words. Oh those words. He landed.

I waited what felt like an eternity for a glimpse of Mr Loco. From communications earlier in the day, I knew he had a bright yellow t-shirt on.

Mr Loco waiting in the airport to fly to Chicago
Mr Loco waiting in the airport to fly to Chicago

Down the escalator came a pair of cargo shorts with a bright yellow torso. My heart skipped a beat. Moments later, a full length glimpse of Mr Loco popped into view. I was beaming. I was SO happy. Mr Loco, in true Mr Loco fashion was not standing on the escalator waiting passively. He was moving. He was moving as quickly as he could around people. I thought he was going to knock over a group of old ladies with his backpack to get to me. Once he made it to the bottom of the escalator he ran to me. I was frozen.  There he was. It was Mr Loco. My Mr Loco. He scooped me up, literally, off me feet and kissed me and kissed me and kissed me. If our life were a movie, this is where you would insert the epic love song from the soundtrack. There we were in the middle of the airport and it felt like it was just the two of us spinning around, locked in an embrace and the kiss….oh, the kiss. I had been swept off my feet. No need to panic about “how” I was going to kiss Mr Loco. He took my breath away in that moment. That kiss made me crave the thousand kisses that would follow. That embrace made me want him near me, always. I loved Mr Loco and wasn’t going to be coming up for air for a while.

We spent that first day together walking around Chicago. I don’t think we let go of each other the entire time. We visited landmarks. We talked. We laughed. It was a perfect day. We hopped on the train to head home in a blissful state. We were finally together. It took us 18 years, but FINALLY, all was right with the world. We were together.
Here are a few more of the selfies we took that day.
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One thought on “I Love You Forever

  1. I had butterflies in my stomach as you were describing the moments before you saw him and tears in my eyes when you finally kissed. Such a sweet moment to remember and cherish.
    (And good choice on your outfit 😉
    -Emily

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