This morning I ran in a race for the first time without Mr Loco by my side. We enjoyed running together. Running was time to unwind and chat. We connected through running. We had fun running together. We liked to dream of vacations as we made a list of races we wanted to tackle. There are only so many guys who will listen to you gab about your love of sport beans and appreciate the gloves that still allow you to touch your smart phone while running and there are only so many girls that will geek out over a Wonder Woman running head band for Valentine’s Day. We were that guy and that girl.
As I got ready this morning I was full of nervous energy. I was thinking of Mr Loco all morning. Tears filled my eyes as I got ready. I put on my Team Loco shirt and there were tears. I put on my necklace with Mr Loco’s name engraved on it….tears. I pulled my hair into low pigtails (my “race hair”) and slipped on my Wonder Woman head band. This was the last gift from Mr Loco. He gave it to me for Valentine’s Day. I slipped on my running shoes that have a charm with Mr Loco’s name. I miss him so very much. That is a given. It is hard to tackle things you always did together on your own. It sucks.
I scooped Baby Loco out of a deep slumber and buckled her into her car seat. She immediately noticed the running stroller in the car. I told her we were going to meet some friends and go for a run. Her reply was “Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhh” I made my way to the race location, found a parking spot, got Baby Loco changed and we were off to find Team Loco.
I am lucky to have such an amazing support system. Really lucky. I don’t know what I would be doing without people checking in on me and making sure we were alright. I was doing this race because of an amazing mama giving me a gentle suggestion and checking in on me and encouraging me on a regular basis. I cannot begin to express how appreciative I am of this support. As the morning rolled on the text messages started rolling in. My cheering section was on the way. Mamas that were running with me were on their way. Friends that were running in other states were sending messages. Friends that are not runners sent messages of love and support. My legs felt a little like jello from the nerves but the love and support from everyone would give me strength.
We started in the very last corral, the stroller corral. This meant standing around for a long time after the start of the race. When we were about to get started a Team Loco member asked if I had a pump. I had a flat tire. UGH! No pump and no one in the mass of strollers had a pump either. Ahhhh, well. I promised to not run so fast that the tire came shooting off and away we went to start the race.
There was jogging and there was walking. There were tears and there was laughter. The important things were accomplished I showed up. I tackled a race. I tackled this race with friends. I completed. I honored Mr Loco. We were cheered on by people who love us. Mr Loco would have been proud of me. I know this. Baby Loco enjoyed herself. She gave me a big hug at the end of the race.
After the race we went to breakfast. I was mesmerized by Baby Loco and how much she reminds me of her daddy. She sat at the table drinking her watered down hot chocolate from a mug like she has been doing it for years. Just the way she held the mug…and those eyes….she just reminded me so much of Mr Loco. He was a big fan of morning coffee. We used to sit out on the patio in the morning and enjoy a cup before the day really got started or hit the Starbucks drive through if we were carpooling.
So we tacked 4.2 miles. My arms are tired from steering a stroller with a flat tire. It was my first race with a stroller so that will just make any subsequent races with a pumped up tire feel easier. There will be more races. I feel good as I type this tonight. I have spent a day relaxing with Baby Loco, reflecting on Mr Loco and his amazing life and realizing that this was a way to remember Mr Loco that feels good. I want to fill us up on things that allow us to keep his memory alive and make us feel the love. I joke that I am going to say just this side of creepy. I want Mr Loco to have a strong presence in Baby Loco’s life. I want her to know about her dad. Participating in activities that he enjoyed provide natural opportunities to share stories.
I am signing off once again so I can crawl into bed and snuggle Baby Loco. Thank you to everyone who gave support. Much love to you. My arms and legs and tired. A full night of sleep sounds delicious. Here’s hoping Baby Loco agrees.
Be excellent to each other.