I had a different blog ready to post and then today happened.
My mind has been focused on the tragedy in Paris. I keep crying as I think of all of the families finding out about their horrible loss. The feelings of losing Mr Loco 20 months ago have all been brought up to the surface. Everything is making me cry. I sat here thinking about how horrible those first few days were. How horrible it was to have to make decisions. How crushed I was. How empty I felt. How I could not breathe. How I could barely function. How there are gaps in what I remember because I was in shock. How 20 months later things are still devastating.
I am feeling that weight all over again just thinking about the countless families who have to go through all of those feelings. I can’t catch my breath. I am crushed all over again.
I can’t stop thinking about all of the families.
Devastation is an understatement.
I can’t stop thinking about how someone decided to do this. They decided to kill. They decided to inflict this cruelty on countless friends and family.They decided.
I can’t stop thinking about my little girl. I have been thinking about the world with all of the political campaigning going on. Now I can’t stop thinking about my little girl growing up in this world and with cruel people, with killers. I wanted nothing more than to hide in my house. I wanted to lock the door to keep the bad out. I wanted to stay in our bubble of sunshine.
Then I saw the post from Mr Rogers about helpers. It allowed me to catch my breath.
This post reminded me that there are more good people than bad.
That there are more kind people than greedy.
Not everyone is only looking out for themselves. There are more giving people.
There are more people who care.
There are more people who support.
There are more people who love than hate.
There are more people who help in this world. I am looking for the helpers. I want to be a helper. I want to know helpers. I want to he surrounded by helpers. I will always look for the helpers. I want to raise a helper.