It has been two years since we lost Mr. Loco. Two years. I have been reflecting on life the past few weeks and the thing I have been thinking about is the fact that life seems to revolve around dates and holidays a lot more than it used to. There are so many dates that remind me of Mr Loco and so many days that are special and so many days that we try to do something in his memory. It seems that we go from one important date to another. That is the way I measure time. That is the way I plan. That is a definite shift from life before.
Here are just a few dates that really stand out for me over the course of a year. It really starts in February. February is just a tough month because those dates are all just lingering there. I am just waiting for them to pass by. It is a tough anticipation.
Valentine’s Day- It makes me think of the first time Mr Loco gave me flowers in 1993. It makes me think of all of the random times we talked over the years. It also makes me think of the last gift he gave me in 2014, a Wonder Woman headband for running.
Date of Death- In our story there isn’t just one date. There is the date of his accident (1/21/14) and the surgery that was unsuccessful. There is the date he was declared brain dead and thus his technical date of death. (1/23/14) There is the date he donated his organs to save 5 other people and the day of final goodbyes. (1/24/14) There is the date of his memorial which is the date we celebrated our anniversary in off years. (1/28/14) All of these dates bring back memories of who was around, the helpful and not so helpful things that were said. (I am amazed that in a time of complete sadness, certain words are burned into my brain.) Friendships were strengthened and friendships were let go. I definitely think the people who stuck around are all pretty awesome. We try to do something special to remember Mr Loco and also focus on something happy for Baby Loco. I want her to hear lots of stories about her daddy and feel confident telling other people about her dad.
Leap Day- Our actual anniversary comes around every 4 years. I think about how we talked about doing something extra special every 4 years. I hope I can save my pennies and make Leap Day a special time to reflect.
Pi Day- As a family that is not religious, we talked about picking the holidays and things we enjoyed most and putting our emphasis there. We made a list. It included Pi Day for fun and as a nod to our geekiness.
May the 4th- This also made our list of fun days to celebrate. Why not? We have hosted a May the 4th party the last two years. Mr Loco would have loved it. We talked about hosting once Baby Loco was a little older and “got it”. He even had his idea of which order she should watch the Star Wars movies.
Mother’s Day- I think about this being the day that Mr Loco would take the lead to help Baby Loco make me breakfast or color a card. We have made the day our own and make breakfast together and spend the day together.
Father’s Day- This is a day we think about Mr Loco and miss him. I try to do a craft with Baby Loco or do something Mr Loco would have liked to do with her. I also buy a gift. It is something we can use or something we can hang up in the house that is a little shout out to Mr Loco. I do this at Christmas as well. I buy things like a millennium falcon cutting board or the “In this house we do GEEK” sign.
Mr Loco’s Birthday- This is another day we miss Mr Loco extra hard. We try to have blueberry pie which he enjoyed as a birthday treat. One year we were in Michigan and released paper lanterns. This past year I hosted a Be Excellent play date and we did a food drive.
Halloween- This was a favorite. We loved dressing up. This was probably our favorite time of year. We looked forward to Baby Loco coming up with a costume idea and us filling in to make an awesome family costume.
Day of the Dead- This is another time of remembering.Mr Loco and I spent an afternoon in a cemetery during Day of the Dead. He was testing his driving ability after recovering from GBS. He passed my road test with flying colors. We spent the afternoon talking about the families tending to graves and what Day of the Dead meant to people. I have had people over to our house for the past two years. I make lots of Mr Loco’s favorite recipes and we eat the foods he loved and look at pictures and I can tell stories to those who never got the chance to meet my awesome husband.
Thanksgiving- This is a holiday whereMr Loco shined. He loved Thanksgiving. He loved the idea of inviting over friends and cooking for them. He made deep fried turkey every year and he loved the planning and list making and beer selection and the laughs around the table. He absolutely loved it.
Christmas Eve-Mr Loco started a tradition of making breakfast for our neighbors on Christmas Eve morning. He loved cooking for people and he loved having people gather together and laugh. He made bananas foster pancakes and we continue that tradition today. Our neighbors really are the most awesome. Seriously, they are amazing people, compassionate, helpful, kind, thoughtful. We are really lucky to have ended up on this block. Hopefully I don’t stick my foot too far in my mouth with one of my feminist, liberal rants while “porching” with them and they let us be a part of the club for years to come. I have to represent for Mr Loco with my rants. LOL Baby Loco talks about them as we drive by or as she looks out the window. She knows where each of them live. They are good people.
New Year’s Eve- This is a holiday where you see everyone posting those kiss pictures and going out for a date night on the town. I am seriously not jealous of that. It is just a reminder that the one I love is not here to toast in the new year. Our last two new years have been spent ringing in the new year with sickness.
There are all of the Facebook reminders that pop up- when we shifted from friends to dating, when we got engaged, moves from AZ or MI and then from MI to AZ, races we did together and loads of other memories.
This is an extra hard time of year because of the anniversaries and we are thinking about Mr Loco a lot. We miss him so much. We miss him now. We miss him every day. We will always miss him as we move from one date to another. We move through each year of anniversaries. We remember all of the good times and we are sad that Mr Loco isn’t here to laugh and make more memories with us. We continue to move forward and try to make more good memories.
We remember Mr Loco. If you didn’t get the chance to know him, he was funny. He had an easy laugh that made me smile. He was a jack of all trades. He worked hard on whatever he put his mind to. He had a memory that was impressive, seriously impressive. He was compassionate. He helped people whenever he could. He liked to do random acts of kindness, especially buying coffee for the person behind him in line. He loved to cook and have friends over to share in delicious food. He loved to grill. He loved to hike and run. He loved to go to festivals and do anything where we could spend time outside.He disliked the cold and snow. He loved to have things organized. He was an amazing dad. He loved being a father. He loved being a family with Baby Loco and me. We loved being a family with him.
We love hearing stories if you have them to share. We love sharing stories if you would like to hear one. We love and miss Mr Loco.